Money Dates

Relationships

Pour the wine, light the fire, get the dessert… it’s time for a money date! For a lot of couples, money isn’t exactly romantic. For many, it’s uncomfortable. Even scary. But money dates are important for couples to align their values and goals.

When should you start talking money? Is it the first date? When you move in together? Once you’re engaged? Married? There is no right answer.

Even before you start really talking about money your date is showing you their values (where the money goes). Do they take you out to fancy dinners with champagne and candlelight? Do they order the steak or just eat the tableside bread? Or maybe you get takeout and watch a movie at home? Do they splurge on a sushi spread and rent the newest release? Or do you split a cheese pizza and watch a movie on his sister’s Netflix account? On your next date, see how your date shows their values. What are they telling you without telling you? How are you talking money without talking about money?

Where do we start? Starting with “does going out to dinner work with our budget? can lead to “should we start saving for that dream vacation?” which can lead to conversations like investing for a future together – a wedding, a home, a family, retirement, etc.

Here are some conversation starts that you can use on any date to get the money talk flowing:

  1. If you won $1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
  2. Are you a spender or a saver?
  3. Do you like to spend money on experiences or things?
  4. What are you saving for right now?
  5. What are our financial goals? (How can we reach them together?)
  6. Did your family talk about money growing up?
  7. What are our priorities?
  8. If you are comfortable, what is your salary?
  9. Are there any big purchases you/we have coming up?
  10. Do you invest?
  11. How do you picture your retirement?

Practice makes perfect… Habits! Now that you both are talking money, let’s make this a regular thing! Deciding how to manage your finances will be one of the first and most important decisions about your financial future as a couple. And the way in which you talk about money may evolve over time. There is no “one size fits all” approach here. Find the cadence and style that works best for you and your partner.

Money dates shouldn’t be a shame or stress inducing evening. So make your money date something that you both look forward to. Check out our episode with Aditi Shekar, founder of Zeta, to learn about how to talk money with your partner on your next money date!

Prenup?

Relationships

If you’re in a serious relationship and thinking about marriage, or you might already be engaged, take some time before you get married to talk money. You might find out that a prenup is right for you!

We will admit that the word “prenup” is very taboo word especially when it comes to love and marriage. As such, we wrongly assumed prenups are just for Kardashians or the Real Housewives. In our episode with Casey Rose Shevin, she explained why some couples opt for a prenuptial agreement.

88% percent of Americans think it’s important to have financial conversations before saying “I do”, yet only 51% actually discuss how to handle finances as a team before getting married. Even more shocking, only 41% of married couples disclosed their annual salaries before getting married and only 36% disclosed their debt! The millennial generation is taking their turn getting hitched and, like so many other things, upending the status quo by opting for premarital financial disclosures. Holla we want PRENUPS!


A prenuptial agreement, or a prenup, is a legally binding contract you sign before you get married. If you get divorced, your prenup outlines how you’ll divide assets and debts. You can sign a prenup that is pretty much all encompassing, leaving little to be negotiated at the time of divorce, or you can limit the prenup to address only a single asset or circumstance. For example, if one partner is coming into the marriage with a significant amount of student loans, a prenup can outline that in the event of a divorce, that debt remains 100% with the partner that took out the debt.

Marriage can be the biggest legal binding contract that people enter into. Prenups are created during a time of love, with a focus on the future. A prenup can actually prevent a contentious split because it forces you to think ahead about one of the top sources of stress in a marriage – money. Financial conflict is the leading cause of divorce, and taking the time to focus on this before marriage can strengthen your financial partnership with your spouse. 

For more information, check out our episode with Casey Rose Shevin, a family law attorney and mediator.