REPLAY! This is one of the original 411k interviews and it is still one of our favorites. Bari Tessler Linden, M.A., is a Financial Therapist, Mentor Coach, Mama-preneur, and the Founder of The Art of Money. Her methodology weaves together personal, couple, and creative entrepreneurial money teachings into one complete tapestry. The Art of Money integrates Money Healing, Money Practices and Money Maps.
“Money shame is an equal opportunity affliction, and it does not discriminate based on who you are, where you are from, how much you earn, what percentage you save, whether you pay your taxes on time, or what your credit score is.” – Bari Tessler, The Art of Money
Sarah Li-Cain is a finance writer and host of Beyond The Dollar, where she and her guests have deep and honest conversations about how money affects your well-being. In this episode, Sarah joins The 411k to talk about practical tips and mindset strategies so that those trying to change their financial life can forgive their mistakes and start to trust themselves with money.
Not all money conversations are romantic. “How do you want to die?” is one of the most important and costly conversations Americans aren’t having. Don’t wait to ask the tough questions until the end! It can be hard to talk about death with a loved one but we need to be talking about how to prepare for death before it happens.
Where do we even start? Don’t just bring it up out of the blue. Make sure they know it’s coming so they can come to the table prepared. “When you have time, I’d like to seriously discuss our end-of-life options.”
Start with your feelings and why this is an important conversation. There is no right way to feel so they won’t feel defensive if you come at the conversation from the heart. “I worry about not being prepared in case of the unexpected and I want to ensure we respect your wishes.”
Ask questions and listen to learn! Don’t tell them their plan or offer solutions at the start. Be curious about their plan and then ask if you can create a plan together.
What kind of end of life care do you want?
Do you want a funeral?
Do you have life insurance?
Should we sell the house?
Where is your will?
What accounts do you have and where?
Have you updated your beneficiaries?
These are incredibly tough questions but these are the questions we need to be thinking about for ourselves and asking our loved ones. These answers have big financial implications and the earlier you talk about it, the better you can prepare for a more sustainable grief process. Don’t let your grief process be compounded by debt and financial loss. The more we talk about difficult things, the more you can honor your loved one’s wishes and make unexpected circumstances easier to manage.
Check out our episode with Lisa Keefauver, in which she shared how she managed the unexpected loss of the love of her life and how we can make these conversations less taboo.
We’ve interviewed many experts who agree that it’s important to talk money with your partner. One of the top sources of stress in a marriage is money so taking the time to focus on this before marriage can strengthen your financial partnership with your spouse. Getting married means sharing your money with your spouse. And when you’re used to managing your own money, even the thought of sharing it with someone else can be confusing, stressful — even scary. Banking with your spouse doesn’t have to mean entering into a world of conflict. Power couples bank together in a way that allows them independence while operating as a team.
Before you start combining money, it’s lay all your cards on the table. Shannon McLay, founder of The Financial Gym, calls this “getting financially naked” with one another. Talking money is personal and getting to this level with a partner is intimate. Everyone is bringing baggage to the table. It can be stressful and uncomfortable but ultimately helps better align your goals as a couple. What do you want to save for? Where do we see this money going in our future?
Bank Accounts with Benefits? Don’t be afraid to start small! Some couples who are living together, engaged or married consider setting up an “ours” bucket for finances. This could be a shared account or shared credit card. Determine how much each is contributing and set up a monthly transfer to the account.
This works really well when the individuals want to maintain independence while still easily managing shared expenses. It helps the couple to manage the shared budget for things like rent, household items, eating out together, etc. And most importantly, it keeps pre-marital money separate for things like student debt, if one partner isn’t prepared to take that on just yet.
We love talking about money and relationships! Check out our episodes on aligning financial goals with Lindsay Bryan Podvin.
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